The word ‘geri’ actually refers to the ’rounds’ farmers in Punjabi villages used to take around their fields. But in Chandigarh, the ‘Geri Route’ has been for decades become the site of cars and bikes moving in rounds, with the drivers openly harassing women who walk the path.

This ‘route’ spans roads surrounding Sector 8,9,10, and 11 of the city and goes around the area where the colleges are. When I got to know about this route and the ‘culture’ it had spawned, I was horrified. I was disturbed by how sanctioned this kind of harassment and misogyny had become in the name of ‘fun’.

After moving to the city, I participated in the ‘Bekhauf Aazaadi March’ organised in the wake of the Varnika Kundu stalking case. We had marched at night across the Geri Route to let it be known that women have the right to walk on the roads at any time. There was an outpouring of raging emotions at the event.

Following the march, I posted a request using the Google Maps review option for the renaming of the route. ‘Geri Route’ is, in fact, not the official name of the street, it is just local parlance. I also started a petition on Change.org about this request and posted about it on Facebook to add more weight to the campaign. I believe changing the language using which the route is referred to is a big deal. It is a small but significant step in stopping the legitimising of the harassment that has become common and accepted there.

A few months after the review was posted, Google Maps renamed the stretch the ‘Azaadi Route’.

“Azaadi (Freedom) Route – the route where the free spirit of Chandigarh – defined best by the women who fear none and nothing in their assertion of equality – flows. No, not the freedom to do as you please, not the freedom to violate the other or to go unchecked, but the freedom to walk without fear. Bekhauf.”

(https://www.change.org/p/google-maps-change-the-name-of-geri-route-to-azaadi-route)

Idol worship and ideal worship are somewhat analogous. Both involve an irrational desire for something that doesn’t exist and something that is a figment of imagination turned into a deep-rooted socio-cultural belief and construction.

Idol worship is still not as pernicious because it is only a metaphor, a symbol after all. But the ‘ideal’, a dangerous myth has inexorably hegemonized the human societies, creating a false consciousness of perfection, camouflaging the underlying dirt . The longing for the ideal is violent, oppressive and stifling, and in the context of gender, the imposition of idealism has created a toxic womanhood under which women grapple to meet the benchmark of excellence that is predicated upon sustaining the subservient position of the “second sex” ascribed to them.

It is indispensable to attack the idealism of the ideal, to demolish the  utopia and embrace the ‘imperfections.’ While the pan-Indian, traditional “sanskari” image of an ideal woman is visibly sexist, misogynistic and patriarchal, the modern, westernized and ‘cosmopolitan’ femininity too is not spared from the patriarchal dominance. There is a culture of shame associated with body hair and fat in the mainstream cinema and fashion industries. The stigma around the expression of sexuality and nonchalant swearing by a woman (Mallika Dua) and the levels of cyber abuse and hatred in the form of masculinism that it instigates, are indicative of the insecurities of fragile masculinity over a woman trespassing the ‘masculine’ space and shaking the gender binary.

I strongly feel that we need more people who destabilize the gender binary and norms, trouble gender and bring an anarchy to the oppressive ‘ideal’ system.

This piece is about the walls women are sometimes met with when we express anything that is unexpected or not the norm. It explores the silences that trying to communicate difficult things brings about.

I’m seventeen.

He’s twenty five.

I say let’s not.

He does it anyway.

I’m twenty three.

He’s twenty three.

I say I can’t breathe.

He continues.

I’m twenty nine.

He’s in his fifties.

I say please don’t.

He doesn’t stop.

I’m thirty.

He’s in his fifties, maybe sixties.

I say I’m just doing my job.

He doesn’t stop, either.

No means nothing.

Language is a lie.

I’m seventeen.

He’s twenty five.

I say let’s not.

He says OK.

He does it anyway.

I’m twenty three.

He’s twenty three.

I say I can’t breathe.

He says then die.

He continues.

I’m twenty nine.

He’s in his fifties.

I say please don’t.

He says I’m harmless.

He doesn’t stop.

I’m thirty.

He’s in his fifties or sixties.

I say I’m just doing my job.

He says you can tell me your problems. Alone in my room.

He doesn’t stop, either.

I guess no means nothing. All language is a lie.

A sanskari woman would never go out on dates with boys who are strangers they said. But I always did what I wanted to and never stopped because I am a ‘girl’. Given my love for meeting new people, I went out on a few Tinder dates and almost dated one of them. Because, why not! Who knew, I would find love in a hopeless place!

Also, an ‘ideal woman’ of marriage-able age is expected to be thin and feminine, but I bear no shame in being overweight, (though, I am not denying my concern of my health!) But, a guy (or his family) who rejects me because of my weight is not worth living my whole life with. Hence, I chose to be the way I am, and only try to be healthy, and not live up to the expectations of the society.

At so many points in my life, I have broken the tradition of going to temple when I have periods. I see no logic in staying away from idols and temples when I am menstruating!

From the time I understood that I am the one who will be responsible for my decisions, I started making my own choices. Starting from taking PCM (Physics, Chemistry, Maths) after the 10th grade.

In the middle of the night, sitting in the dark, I had removed the option of ‘Commerce’ (that I had tick-marked first because I had been strongly suggested by my family and asked by my father to opt for it), using a whitener and selected PCM with a thought in my mind that I don’t want to blame anyone else in the future for the choices I make today.

I decided not to go for a 9-5 regular job, choosing to continue to experiment for better learning. Then one day,  I chopped off my long curly hair to feel freer than ever! I took off to the Himalayas. I got my hair colored for the first time ever and got my first tattoo, at the same time. “Why did you do this to yourself?”, my father asked. “I wanted to get this done now, there is no point if I do it at the age of 30, when you think I have become older and wiser,” I answered. He smiled back in acceptance.

Adorning myself every year with the tattoos that I have chosen, believing in their depiction, make me not an ‘ideal woman’ at all, especially as I work with children. I also have taken a very well-thought out decision in cohesion with my husband to not have a baby. We don’t have answers if and when s/he asks us what were you doing when this world was becoming a sad place to live for us!

My grandmom often used to say, “Never trust a man who cries openly and a woman who laughs openly!”

She wanted her grand-daughters to be well-behaved princesses. My father was an IAS officer, and she expected us to step it up. The rules she abided by were – be quiet, or speak less; serve everyone; and don’t laugh too loud. Break these rules and risk not being taken seriously!

But over the years, she changed. I grew up boisterous, learning to be so in an all-girls’ school. Everything we did there was quite loud! Seeing me as I had become, her ideas shifted. She started to tell people, “You should see my grand-daughter. She laughs aloud, even when among a 100 men!” There was pride in her voice, because being able to laugh loudly was, in her eyes, a sign of power.

Her reactions also helped me understand the social background of women of her generation. She became a study subject for me, about women of a different period. Being able to laugh aloud was one of many small victories that these women celebrated, like being able to buy one’s son a wrist-watch, or managing to finance his education by working extra hours. For these working class women, who came from the soil, the ‘ideal woman’ meant something else than it does to us today.

A city like New Delhi is a study in contradictions. It is home to a plethora of people coming from all walks of life, not all of whom have access to clean surroundings and basic sanitation services.

Suparnaa Chadda is a women’s rights activist, media professional and founder of Women Endangered India (WE) & ‘Simply Suparnaa’. The philanthropist in her is dedicated to making a difference, in any capacity she can. In this instant, we were headed to the Sur Nirman society for a session on menstrual hygiene.

Recently, we travelled to WE’s camp in East Delhi. The Patparganj jhuggi slum is surrounded by large buildings and bungalows, where a lot of the residents go to work. They come back home to dingy by-lanes and cramped houses where accessibility and hygiene are constant problems.

After walking 300 metres into the slum and entering past a small unassuming gate, we reached the Sur Nirman Educational & Cultural Society, a place that bore little resemblance to its unclean surroundings.

We are greeted by enthusiastic people who are glad to see Suparnaa again. This is the second visit Suparnaa has made to Sur Nirman. The Women Endangered (WE) team organised this session to sensitise women about the importance of menstrual hygiene and reproductive health. The idea was simple – take the shame out of menstruation. As WE says, #LetsTalkPeriod!

The hesitation, shame and stigma attached to menstruation is one of the most prominent causes contributing to poor reproductive health in India. WE addressed it head on with a conversation on what menstruation means, the importance of hygiene and the best menstrual practices to be followed. She also addressed the concerns of the women, who while residing in the heart of the Indian capital, one of the largest metropolitan cities in the world, struggle to access proper hygiene practices.

Suparnaa engaged the audience with anecdotes in the vernacular tongue so that the participants could appreciate and connect to the matter being discussed. She steered clear of technological help, such as that of PowerPoint presentations and visuals on a large screen. Instead, she used a scale replica of the uterus, and posters to demonstrate and talk them through the processes. Her approach was simple, engaging and effective.

The session brought together 70 women, from adolescent girls to their mothers. Suparnaa broke the process of menstrual hygiene down to 7 key habits, attributing each of them to the seven musical notes, the Do Re Mi Fa or Sa Re Ga Ma as we Indians know it. WE also touched upon sustainable solutions to menstrual hygiene, with Malini Parmar talking the women through the benefits of adopting the Menstrual Cup. This environment-friendly option can serve as an alternative to the existing methods of maintaining menstrual hygiene.

In an effort to help them maintain a healthier lifestyle, WE distributed 70 units of menstrual cups to the women. An interesting take though was the fact that the women could purchase the units worth INR 900 per piece for INR 10 each. This was done to ensure that the women had a strong incentive to use the menstrual cups and not discard the handouts. What’s commendable is the fact that WE took the contact details of all the women who took the menstrual cups and plans to head back in three months to check on the progress made.

A small effort by one individual mobilised another to join the cause, and realised a session that could change a big part of the lives of 70 women!

Needless to say, this is just a drop in the ocean and the battle to effect behavioural change is long, but WE is sure moving forward one step at a time.

The On Purpose Photo Contest, the first of its kind, ran between November 14th and December 2nd, 2017.

The following is a list of the brainwaves, plans, and observations that happened behind and during the contest. Because we believe in record-keeping!

PSST: To purchase a Kindle edition of Ashraf Engineer’s book, Bricks of Blood (that inspired this photo contest) click HERE

• We read, we observe, we capture the beauty of our surroundings through photographs. How could we combine all of these pursuits? Through a photo contest, of course!

• When we love a book, we think of ways of spreading the love. In this instance, it was Ashraf Engineer’s excellent ‘Bricks of Blood’ that inspired us to float out a photo contest.

• Our call was to all the street photography enthusiasts who love capturing the ‘everyday’ of the city they live in and/or love.

• Our chosen hashtag was #MyCity, simple and to the point. Participants could send in a 5-word caption of their photo as well. We believe in brevity!

• We were super stoked by the response, which was immediate and composed of beautiful images!

• Instagram led the pack as the preferred site of submission, though Twitter wasn’t far behind it in the race.

• The most exciting part of the journey was reaching out to friends and acquaintances, most of them photography-lovers but so many of them just excellent observers of the life around them. We realised this was not just about clicking that awesome picture but about acknowledging the true character of the place we live in!

• As the photos kept pouring in, we realised Delhi, Bengaluru, and Mumbai are breeding grounds of some of the most talented candid photographers out there.

• Our pitch was one photo per participant, but the entrants had different ideas – a few of them sent us multiple entries and we so loved this twist!

• Ashraf, the competition judge, was a keen observer throughout. He couldn’t wait to have a look at the whole lot of entries and be tortured by the decision of choosing a winner!

• As the last day drew closer, we rang out reminders, and happily, last-minute entries happened. We understand how pressure can be a great motivator!
  

 In acknowledgement of the demand, we extended the contest by a day. Who doesn’t like one extra day of something so fun?

• But it had to end, and it did. Instagram kept up its lead as we received the most entries from the site. When it came to cities from where the images came, none could top Bengaluru! But, it was awesome to have received entries from Thiruvananthapuram, Pune, Mumbai, Delhi, Hyderabad, and even as far as New Jersey and Berlin.

Ashraf engineered (he he!) a surprise before the announcement of the results. There would be three winners instead of one, and each of them would be sent a signed copy of ‘Bricks of Blood’! Admittedly, he had a tough time picking the winners, but he wasn’t complaining.

• From the big lot, Mahalakshmi Raman from Bengaluru, Priyanka Mathur from Delhi, and Arpitha Rai from Bengaluru came up tops! We loved their black-and-white images, all depicting the chosen city’s typical sights. Congratulations!

Needless to say, every step of the way was a fun, learning experience. Photography can bring people closer, and we sure did make some new talented friends!

India does not need another generalist consultancy. The market is cluttered with global and independent consultancies with undifferentiated offerings. What India needs and what clients are buying, is differentiated expertise.

We want to bring more confidence to the business of Public Relations

The communications profession needs to be more confident about who we are as a people and the impact we have in changing the way in which we live, work and play. Recent incidents have brought to light the divide between people who think public relations is a force for good and those for whom it is a tool to manipulate public opinion. PR is no longer about fuzzy terms like ‘perception management’ and ‘creating buzz.’ Technology has made us a lot more data-driven in our quest for understanding how people think, say they behave and the gap between intent and action. We have the opportunity to build a stronger, more nuanced understanding of what motivates people, how to identify those with common passions and how to mobilise them with a shared sense of belonging, and purpose.

On the dark side, technology and its uses to automate content lets atoms of propaganda rocket through social networks, powered by tight peer groups, making the ‘business of influence’ a very dangerous one. Like all other forms of mass destruction, fake news and the creation of filter bubbles of opinion fed to us by advertising-driven, social platforms is a 21st century problem (one we need to accept and address). Opinions and self-beliefs have always, always held more sway than facts. Storytelling isn’t new. It’s how we’ve always understood our versions of the world we live in. It’s the speed of proliferation and the ability to bring people on the fringes together that has strengthened those committed to a form of nationalist and hate-driven agenda with tools that are giving them access to attention, status and power.

We want to help brands stand for something

It in this environment, today, we are talking to brands about building trust and authenticity. Brands now, more than ever, need to take a stand for something that’s true to their DNA and reason to exist. In an increasingly commoditised market, the brands that are showing up differently today, are those that are creating an aspirational identity for people to feel part of something much bigger than themselves. A cause, a movement, a purpose.

We want to help brands connect with people based on insights that stem from basic human truths about how we are as people – not target groups, not audience segments –but people. And inspire those people with a unique way of being, on purpose.

This article is first appeared in Reputation Today on Oct 17, 2017 and can  be viewed here: http://reputationtoday.in/views/on-purpose-consulting-communicating-to-drive-social-change-in-india/